I have been wrestling with something for the last couple of months. I have felt strongly that God has been calling me to "come away with Him". To put my work commitments on hold for a time and devote it to... well, giving space for God to work, to direct my steps. At first, I thought "a sabbatical?". And in my mind, I began to argue all the reasons that makes no sense. I have a new business, a ministry. There has been much fruit and lives are being impacted and things are just beginning to get momentum. "Lord, you led me back to school, filled me with knowledge and passion, gave me an audience, a platform -- surely this cannot be time to STOP!"
But that is exactly where I feel I am being led. I will be honest, I am extremely uncomfortable with this. I am a planner, an executor... I produce, accomplish, serve, earn. I'm a worker. THAT, oddly enough, is my comfort zone. Rest in Him? Have no plan? Trust I will be led? Trust all of my hard work will not fall away? YIKES!
We rarely promote space for nothingness even though it may be the only way to see what is really going on. Without space, we cannot create the opportunity to feel ourselves fully, to grow and open to new possibilities and new meanings in our lives. In many ways, it is easier to fill our lives to fullness and keep going, a form of numbing and resistance to what may need to change and grow.
I preach "essentialism" to my clients, but in my insatiable desire to serve and share, to create and earn, I don't always practice it -- so my heart wrenches to not be available to everyone who wants or needs.
In January, at a minimum, I am choosing to set an important example. I will not be taking health coaching clients, writing Transformation Tuesday (unless I am moved to do so), or teaching Holy Yoga. In line with "essentialism", I will strip away every non-essential from my life for a time, and ground into what is absolutely essential.
I can speculate what is to come. It seems likely to me that it is a time of preparation, as I get ready to announce some bigger initiatives later in 2019. It could be a time of restoration, of restoring my health and wholeness in a period of grief. Perhaps a time to get my house in order with all the recent changes. Perhaps it will be a period of refinement and an introduction of new ways. For sure, as uncomfortable and risky as it feels to let my work go, I am filled with anticipation as to what He will do with and in me.
This will unfold. I know that I feed off my community, and I have no doubt this includes you in some way. Holy Yogis, I will continue to practice Holy Yoga, so perhaps you would still like to join me in my home practice (I would be taking, not teaching). Invitations will be coming. Health coaching clients, it has been put on my heart to create an integrated health coaching series delivered through Holy Yoga practices and practically advised through Transformation Tuesday (likely in Feb/Mar). There could be other opportunities to fellowship without labor. Perhaps there will simply be invitations to join me in my life -- to practice home yoga, to meal prep together, to fellowship, to share?
One thing I'm sure of is that this is not a time of laziness and self indulgence, but an intentional time to allow God to direct my service... and practice the simplicity of walking in obedience and trust. To rest in him. Space for God to work.
Please support me as I enter this time. Speak Lord, your servant is listening. (1 Sam 3:10)